Need something cool to say because you just slipped and fell? Quitting Facebook is the new adult version of running away from home. I love being married. If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! The only reason why 30 guys liked your picture is that they can see right down your shirt. People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane until we invented smartphones and social media.
If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 years, you can believe in yourself for 5 minutes. Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
I say, anyone can catch your eye but it takes someone special like me to catch your heart. I have also been told that I am beyond cure. Please pray for me. I always take life with a grain of salt …plus a slice of lemon …and a shot of tequila. You can go ahead and play with yourself too, because with that kind of comment, your not getting a girl in your bed anytime soon. Usually the idiots are the brunnettes that dye their hair blonde. Calm yourself….
It is not a dis on your precious Justine Beaver, it is just a joke to make people laugh. Just a suggestion. You lose a life. Would you like to try again? Best punishment to a boy: Give him a mobile phone, with lots of balance and girls phone numbers and leave him at a place where there is no network. You stupid hater! How much coke has Charlie Sheen done? That is awesome, but you have a bunch of people scratching there head. Justin Bieber is a fag and needs to grow up.
I dont understand why you have to be rude about it… wow If the rest of the world was as rude as you were id be scared for our generation…. If you see us without an erection, make us a sandwich! There are 10 types of people in this world. Teacher: Hey students, I encouraged you to join the amazing race.
Take note, Its not just a race. Justin bieber: when will my arse stop hurting J B;s dad: -. Needs money for food. God bless. This is an awesome list! Made me laugh.
Going to forward to my friends now in FB. Ahhh shit. All for Justin Beiber, how cute.. Just out trolling, carry on haha. You probably know all of the Justin Websites. I can just see you now…35 years old, cats, and lbs. Get a life, and a waist. Go rent a brain cell and read the joke again. Are you making his money, Aim Pownall? I think not. What an idiot. She has a boyfriend? They tell us to send our clothes to the starving in Africa, Believe me if they can fit into mine they are not starving….
A divorced man walks over to his ex-wifes new hubby n asked…so how does it feel enjoying 2nd hand goods?.. Why the hell does everyone dis on Justin bieber? What did he do to you? My bf said he was gunna give me the world but i told him in this rate of crimes n this resesion i dont want it lol …. Please copy and paste this to your status if you know someone, or have been affected by someone who needs a punch in the face. People who need a punch in the face affect the lives of many.
There is still no known cure for someone who deserves a punch in the face, except for a punch in the face. But we can still raise awareness!
I think its hilarious! Answer: Mother fucker.. If enough of you do this, you CAN make a difference! Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? New one… X thought he saw a ninja while driving home today… Turned out to be just a light pole… Or was it?
I just made this one up.. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Time limit is exhausted. Sign in. Forgot your password?
Get help. Privacy Policy. Password recovery. Considering Venturing into Hemp Production? Here is What You Need to…. How Gamers Can Aim for Sustainability. How to Empower your business with Artificial Intelligence.
Enhancing Your Game Streaming. Beam Shaper. Crypto Platforms Lending Ethereum. Such a Wonderful Collection.. My favorite one was about eating the giant marshmallow, and waking up to find your pillow gone. Fab …………….!! The Justin Bieber jokes are not funny.
None of this was funny. It was crappy grammar and punctuation also. These are seriously funny. If u wanna see more funny fb statuses go to funnystatus. Slept like log last night,, woke up in the fireplace. That awkward moment when Pinocchio and Voldemort meet. This stuff really made me laugh.
Where do you keep all of that tomato sauce? Try putting this on your status if you want your friends to get a laugh. Can I get 69 likes on this. Sorry, I just need something to match my full-time job. Eww wtf who would say tat loke ugh what if there is younger people reading thiz. If I tell you your ass looks fat will you stop asking? A lot of people have no talent.
Everything is made in china , except babies, theyre made vachina c;. Too many cmoplnimets too little space, thanks! I Love these hahahaaa! Freakin Funny i love the ladder! Well fuck u! If, all men are dogs…I guess dat just makes all women pussy cats..? Assholes and opinions everybody has one and yours stink. These are really funny i use them for my statuses on facebook. Hey, Jay Murphy, that was pretty good lol. As if talkin to my wall is bad enuff…i have to type it on my facebook wall too.
Steve Jobs is dead, you idiot; it was all over the news! Awesome stuff, really appreciable, searching for that from long time. Good list. Girl: Yhur a butthole.. This is so hilarious. I love the justin beaver ones they seriously made my day. Nyssa Usher! Very nice jokes…. LawL love thes things but some are tooo stupid.
Lovee thessee maaan ther soo funnyy.. The Justin Bieber ones were my favorite! Twinkle Twinkle little whore relationships come in twos, not in fours. Twinkle Twinkle my little slut spread your cheeks and whipe your butt. Twinkle Twinkle little slut spread your cheeks so I can fuck your butt. Christmas is just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.
I am buying my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking? You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. Christmas Status, Funny Christmas Facebook Status is chugging NyQuil until sugar plums really are dancing in my head is making "fruitcakes" out of stuff I find under my sofa cushions.
The whole Christmas season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. Christmas Status, Funny Christmas Facebook Status is still trying to figure out what "police nabbed my dad" has to do with Christmas. Start now - Click Here! Labels: Christmas. Newer Post Older Post Home. Subscribe to: Post Comments Atom. To help you, we have put together a few questions to try out on your Facebook account. By now you must have gotten acquainted with Facebook status updates.
You should also have understood how important funny Facebook status is and our list should have inspired you. They are really interesting and you can come up with yours. Share some of yours with us in the comments section.
Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. What are Facebook statuses? When you try to argue with an idiot, he pulls you to his level then usurps you with his experience. Prayed to God to bless me with a bike. After waiting for a minute, I went on to steal one from the mall. Imagine the world we live in today.
You place a call to and then to a pizza shop. Be sure that your pizza will arrive first, the police second. After all, a person cannot be a car just because he works in a garage. Women fake orgasms, just the way men fake relationships. A fool is considered wise until he speaks a few words. I hardly think of hurting you, but I think of it anyway.
If I agree with you on a matter, it implies we both lost. Do we really grow up? I guess we all juts develop the ability of self-control in public, in our minds we all are children. Hungry and horny are two emotions common to every man. If you see a man not erect, he is probably hungry. Politicians share a certain characteristic with diapers, they stink. This is why they should be changed frequently. Having sex and playing bridge is one and the same in several respects.
You know your partner is bad when your hand is good. Mum called me a son of a bitch all the time, if only she understood what it meant. Research and plagiarism are sons of the same mother, theft. The difference is that the former is stolen from a number of people and the latter, from a single person.
It is better for a fool to remain silent, he would likely be perceived as wise. Do you wonder if no one would miss you? Try missing a few payments. One thing is really confusing. All some people are good for, like slinkies, is making us laugh at their barrel roll down the stairs.
What they achieve within a week of coming into the life of a man is incredible. They would have trained him to throw them fish from the poolside with accuracy. They are simply a disaster waiting to happen. Use your shinbone.
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